Dear white shadow,
Ye sab kya likh diya yar.. itna senti kyu kar diya.. ye rundha hua gala mera amit aur tiwari se bhi nai chup raha ab to.
tumhare jate hi miss karne lage yar tumhe. Itna ajeeb lag rha tha ke aj pehli bar mummy se bat karne ka man sa nai kiya mera. And i am feeling so disgusted today, i cud never actually express my feelings to u, i dont really knw why but even aj bhi. U knw wat jab tum pichli bar ja ri thi uske 2 din pehle se hi hum rat ko so nai pa rae the sai se. Seriusly yar, matlab is thought se hi ek sihran si hoti thi ke tum chali jaogi. Roz sochte the how wud it be without you, tumhare jate tym kya bolenge kya karenge, wud a handshake do or a hi5 or a may be a hug. Then the haunting thought of not being able to meet u fr the last tym. I almost felt lyk killing u jab u sed tum 4 ki sham ko niklogi even wen u knew hum 4th ki subah ja rae the. Wo last gud bye hamesha chubhta agar na mil pate. Bt then i was relieved to hear tum subah jag ke milne aa skti ho, n jab rukne wala option aya tab to i was itna happy ki bata nai sakte, bt as i told u gussa the to kuch bole nai. Anyways kitna bhi socha ho but c wat happened, again i was standing there, speechless, expressionless, uncle nd bhai ke hone se obviusly scene thoda to change hua but i cudnt even utter a word, nt even a clear 'bye'. Wai sinking feeling aa ri thi, strt to sham se hi ho gai thi but us tym tak pure form me aa chuki thi.
Yeah u are ryt nothing can actually explain our f'shp. Our ways have been so different so 'daring'. I didnt expect i'll be roaming around CP nd akshardham nd bangla sahib wid u or wid any friend wid a fear "koi hume dekh na le", neither did i expect writing a blog just to share our past experience & even chatting in the comments. We defied all the laws, bevkufi bhari sari bandishen todi, always stood by each other & never let our f'shp die. Koi lakh bura chahe to kya hota hai, wai hota hai jo manzure parchaiin aur anonymous hota hai!! :P
Wo flagpost ki lane, wo clg ke chakkar, still remeber wo winter vaccation me mere ghar jane wale din, kaise jaldi jaldi gautam ke flat se bhag ke aae the to meet u, sumit sir ka office me kam tha use chhod ke tumhari kahani sun rae the,then just adhe ghante me puri packing niptae the,nandan se constantly daant khate hue. Then wo barasti raat jab khud chhate me khade hoke hum bechare ko barish me khada karke ladai jhagdon ki kahani suna ri thi. Then wo walk mere laptop kharab hone ke bad barish me bhigte hue, ya tumhara certi leke aate tym barish me bheegna.
I myt hav told u but i was never sure of my place in ur life tumhare kai bar bolne pe bi, until ur bday & ur post n fb dat day. Dat was the 1st tym i realised "it wasnt just u who was special fr me, may be it was a mutual feeling". Tabse even i cud express myself in a batter way, mostly widout any 2nd thots & also be a li'll possesive( see one doesnt hav to be ur bf/gf fr being possesive, frns ka bhi hak banta hai :P ).
U asked me one day na if i wud miss u or not, here's ur answer-
I wud miss my sharmili jatt, jise hume samne dekh ke hi saanp sungh jaya karta tha.
I wud miss wo buddhu ladki, jo kisika chidhana sunke hans padti thi.
I wud miss meri bakait frnd jiske sath milke humne msg-msg me hi na jane kitni duniya ghum li, kitni bakaitiyan ki.
I wud miss the self obsessd girl jo khud ki tareef karte nai thakti thi n hume uski khichai karne me utna hi maza ata tha.
I wud miss wo kahaniyan sunate tym ke expressions, kahani ke beech me charaters, unke nam, places bhul jana then thodi der bad yaad ana.
I wud miss wo tumhari ankhon me gussa wen u were complaining, jise dekh ke i thot ab ise shant kaise karen, fir thoda idhar udhar karte karte apne ap sb normal ho jata tha.
I wud miss wo tumhari self respect, merrut ko defend karna ho ya women ko, u gave an equal fyt, wich myt hav irritated me sumtyms bt always added to the respect i had for you.
I wud miss tumhara kabhi bhi koi favor seedhe na mangna & waiting for me to offer it myself (remember tumhara training certi).
I wud miss tumhari bus ki kahaniyan. Noida se merrut tak ki journey me poore tym humse bat karte rehna & live commentry karte rehna.
I wud miss me waiting for u to notify me "reached bus station, wid papa. cant talk ttyl" untill reliance changed its plans.:P
I wud miss radhe radhe, tumhari d park jane ki zidd n mera mana karna.
I wud miss wo cs,juhi wale grp ka hume hamesha spot kar lena jab bhi hum walk pe hote the.
I wud miss mera wo din bhar ki padhai sum up karke tumhe batana during my gate preparation.(waise ye ab bhi ho skta hai, SAIL i prprn k tym) :P
I wud miss tumhara wo authority se kehna "kitna padhoge, mujhse bat karo" or saying "tumhari coaching mjhe pasand ni" & sumtyms aisa feel karna but still chup rehna.;)
I wud miss wo radio pe aate songs discuss karna.
I wud miss ur red top, tumhara chotu sa handbag, nd even ur jhola capri :P :D
I wud miss tumhare liye daaru supply karna, :P although i dont want u get addicted at any cost. :-/
I wud miss tumhara "chuuup raho" & uske bad ki smile.
I wud miss listening the same story again & again & smiling, becoz of the enthu wid which u talked.
I wud miss wo ehsaas wo assurity dat wenever i'll feel low, u'll come down ur hostel to be wid me, make me feel better, walk with me on the clg roads & walk me out of my spoiled mood or my miseries. :( :(
Yar pata hai lets promise ourselves today ki jo bhi ho jae, nai conditions, nae places, nae frns bt v'll nt let this feeling die. Its a very special bond jo na jane kitne tests se pass hoke itna strong hua hai, it'll be nurtured in the same way it was over these 1.5 yrs & jo bhi pblms hon v'll tackle it together !! :) :)
-Anonymous
